How is Fear Informing Your Beliefs… or Vice Versa?
Let’s talk about fear and beliefs. (…. I know! Hot topic!!)
I’ll start with beliefs. When you read that word, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Is it religion, beliefs about yourself, or something else entirely?
I ask this because I want to challenge you to consider when the last time you truly analyzed what you believe and why you believe it - about anything. Your faith, people in your life, yourself, your job, your place in this world…
Because everything that you do, say, think, and feel, is informed by your beliefs. It is the lens that informs every decision that you make, including your judgments.
What is a Belief?
A belief is your held position about whether something is true or false. It is your perception of how things exist, or whether they exist at all. It is the highest level of information in your worldview.
Those beliefs create a filter through which you see and think about everything else.
Speaking from a somatic experience - when we experience an emotion, we usually bypass the acknowledgement of the actual emotion or physical sensation and go straight to our thoughts.
For example, if someone dangerously cuts you off in traffic, you may reactively yell out “Watch where you’re going (maybe insert an expletive here)!!” throwing your hands up and maybe laying on the horn — with the thought that they were irresponsible behind the wheel.
What belief told you that they are irresponsible behind the wheel? Perhaps it was a teenager, a woman, someone of a different race, or the fact that everyone in that type of car “never knows how to drive?” It could be any number of reasons - but ultimately, the highest belief in that moment was that you are a better driver than them because of “XY or Z.” And if you think that’s not what the belief is, I challenge you to challenge it and explore it — find out what the belief truly is. — Why do we react with anger when someone cuts us off? We don’t know what’s going on with them - the could have had an emergency that is impairing their judgment. They could have had a terrible day that had occupied their attention in that moment. They could have screaming kids in the back that just overloaded their senses and they missed their blind spot. You could have just simply been in their blind spot…. The point is - we never truly know.
With a different belief about yourself and the other person, your reaction would be completely different. Your thoughts would be completely different. And the lingering effect would be different.
In the instance above, if you believe any of those suggestions I made, then every time that event occurs, you will react the same way and feel the same tension and anger. Your beliefs gave you information, you had the thought, and you let your emotions run the show, triggering your reactivity. The anger caused a physical response that is unpleasant.
The reason that this is important, is because our beliefs also inform our fears, but our fears also keep us from challenging our beliefs. They are the top and bottom end caps to our worldview and existence. They can very easily keep us trapped in an endless loop of pain and toxicity.
Challenging Your Beliefs
So what would happen if we challenged a belief and tried to understand where it came from, and whether or not it is an absolute truth? …. Or are you too afraid to do that?
The same can be said for any belief system that we hold. It is a belief “system” because in most cases if “A” is true, then “B” must also be true.
I’m going to take you down a rabbit hole.
How afraid are you to find out why you believe something and then explore why that is the reason you believe it… and so forth and so on…?
Here’s a fun one… Do you believe that ghosts are real? Why or why not? — Take it further, why or why not again?
A little more serious here… Do you believe that you are worthy of being loved? Why or why not? Where did that come from? And keep going all the way until you are at the very root of where your information is coming from.
For example. One of my beliefs for a long time was that I was created to be my ex-husband’s servant, and I had to be his wife because there was no one else to love him but me, because I was the only one that could do it - since that was what I was created for. — Now… any relatively rational human in society can see ALOT wrong with that belief. But it begs the question — why on Earth did I believe that??
Someone (a few people, actually) told me that.
The Bible was interpreted that way to me.
I saw no other alternative for the purpose of my suffering.
I’d made a vow, so that must be true because divorce would damn my life (and eternal life) forever.
Again - because that’s what I was told, and how it was interpreted religiously to me.
The Bible was the inerrant word of God, so this must all be true.
We do not question the Word of God or our leaders.
So then, because of my fear of going to hell if I were to live an unrepentant life in sin through divorce, I held to my beliefs because it kept me safe from my fear. That was my life for 10 years. I dared not challenge that belief, due to other beliefs that kept me in fear.
It was not until I fearfully (courageously) challenged my belief system that I broke out of fear and gained my freedom, and found the life that God actually intended for me to have - abundant, and full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control. Things that did not exist in my previous life.
Freedom Lies On The Other Side Of Fear
Had I never questioned why I believed any of that, I would still be in an endless loop of suffering, and I can’t even imagine what my family would look like right now.
Challenging and completely deconstructing my beliefs gave me life.
Beliefs about divorce, my worth, God, Jesus, the Bible, humanity, creation, love, marriage, people, aliens (yes… I said aliens), religion, government, money, energy, animals, history… — I mean EVERYTHING….
It opened the doors for me to embrace who God truly is, and who I truly am - who God created me to be. It created relationships with people I never would have been able to have otherwise. It showed me the spiritual gifts that God gave me that were suppressed because others were afraid of them. It gave me my voice and empowered me to truly answer the question “Why do you believe what you believe?” — I never knew before. I believed things because it was what I was taught.
Challenging why I believed everything I ever believed brought me closer to Christ, to the Creator, to the Holy Spirit - in a way I NEVER had before. But only because I embraced the free will God gave us to explore His truth and ask the hard questions, and LISTEN when He answered.
That’s when fear scatters. When the truth of God enters the room.
So… I challenge you…
Dig into the corners of your darkness. What are you afraid of? Why are you afraid of it? What do you believe about people, God, reality, life, truth — ANYTHING.
Explore.
Ask the questions.
Love Is The Reason
Matthew 7:7 says "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."
1 Peter 3:15 says "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."
Matthew 22:36-40 is the reason. The greatest commandment is to “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Without understanding what we believe, and why we believe it, we become held captive by beliefs that keep us chained to what people told us. For some of us, chained to judgment and suffering - preventing us from loving even ourselves - so if we cannot love ourselves (because of our beliefs) how can we love anyone else? We will only hate others if we hate ourselves. How can we love God if we are only obeying out of fear? Fear is the opposite of love.
How can we forgive if we hold beliefs that judge others based on fear or because we failed to understand them? That forgiveness is for us - not others. It is the release that allows God to flow freely through us and reconnect us to Him.
So again - I challenge you. What are you afraid of, and why are you afraid of it?
Perhaps journal your thoughts on this one… You may be surprised where you end up.
Ending toxic cycles often begins here.
If you are ready to break free from toxic cycles and go deeper, schedule a consult with me so we can talk about it!